Part 1 of a 4 part series about self-worth. This video is all about self-compassion. What is it, what it is not, how it is beneficial, and how to use it in your life. I also provide a lot of resources for you to learn more about self-compassion.

Summary of Video:

In her first-ever Facebook Live, Addie Wieland, LCSW and founder of Everyday Bravery Counseling, kicks off a four-part series on self-compassion—a topic she says has come up repeatedly in client sessions and is often misunderstood. Broadcasting from her RV in West Texas, she brings both warmth and clinical insight to this foundational topic.

Addie begins by clarifying the difference between self-compassion and self-esteem. While self-esteem is dependent on external achievements and appearances (like job success or how we look), self-compassion is internal and unconditional—it’s about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer someone you love, regardless of your circumstances.

She references key resources, including The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff and Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski, to highlight the emotional and psychological benefits of self-compassion: reduced anxiety and depression, improved relationships, and increased emotional resilience. Importantly, she addresses common fears about self-compassion, such as the worry it will lead to laziness, self-indulgence, or selfishness. In reality, research shows the opposite: self-compassion increases motivation, accountability, and perspective-taking.

Addie walks viewers through a simple yet powerful writing exercise. She asks participants to reflect on a recent mistake and compare what they said to themselves (often harsh, critical, or cruel) to what they would say to a loved one who made the same mistake (usually kind, supportive, and forgiving). The takeaway? If you wouldn’t say it to someone you care about, you likely shouldn’t say it to yourself.

She also introduces Kristin Neff’s three core components of self-compassion:

1. Self-kindness – speaking gently to yourself, especially in difficult moments.

2. Common humanity – remembering that mistakes and struggles are part of being human.

3. Mindfulness – staying present without judgment instead of ruminating on past failures or fearing future ones.

For those with deeply ingrained self-critical inner voices—especially those with a history of trauma or neglect—Addie notes that starting with direct self-compassion practices might be too difficult. In those cases, she recommends beginning with metta meditations (loving-kindness directed toward others) as a gentler entry point.

She closes by affirming that learning self-compassion is a practice—and it will feel uncomfortable or awkward at first. That’s normal. But the more we place kind words "on top of our hearts," as she beautifully quotes, the more they eventually take root. Viewers are invited to return next week for Part 2, an inner child exercise designed to help deepen this work.